Love: Part I

 Hello Dear Reader,

Shall we chat about love today?

Make yourself a cup of chai, and get comfortable. 

Sometimes it feels like we must be someone or have something of significance to receive the love we want; that those who are average will remain painfully alone, or will never be loved the way they want to be. Maybe we must have an incredible talent, or effortless good looks, or be a well known singer or celebrity. 

But if we knew anything about love, we would know love is selfless. Careless. Blind. 

It is not blind to flaws in character or emotions of oneself, but blind to how beautiful someone is, how intelligent they are, or how rich they are. 

To clarify, we aren't talking exclusively about romantic love. 

Good parents love us when we trudge downstairs with our morning breath, looking for our first cup of coffee. They love us when we slam doors, when we royally screw up, and when we fail our assignments. I often confuse their expectations for the conditions on which I am worthy of their love and attention, but in retrospect, that is simply untrue. Of course, I cannot speak for everyone, but love is unconditional. Love is average. 

If we have to be specter of magnificence to receive attention and affection then that is not love. That is a trade that no one should have to make. 

Mind you, it helps to catch our attention if someone is lovely to look at, but that is not why we love them. We love them because they're kind, they laugh at the silliest things, they make you laugh, they make you feel appreciated even at your worst, and importantly, because they love you too. 

I used to believe that no one would love me if  I wasn't a certain way, but truly, no one would love me because it didn't seem right to me that I should accept love that came without conditions. It seemed risky, flighty even; why would they stay if I could offer them nothing?

But that is the nature of real love. We stay because although they offer us nothing practical, they offer themselves.

I find myself resenting modern media for it's unintentional calibration of love in a transactional light. Be beautiful, and find a rich partner. (While there are oh, so many gender expectations involved in this particular topic, we will not veer into those today). 

Love cannot be that way. Both beauty and riches are whimsical, clumsy things, and rarely ever long lasting; love is independent of this kind. 

When we finally believe that we are more than what we present on the outside, we can rise beyond conventions of modern love, and I can finally feel more comfortable flirting with that boy from Maths class, because in the glory of my average life, I am still me.